My friend Murielle put a great YouTube video of a TERRIBLE Pink Floyd Cover band on my Facebook, and I laughed. Really hard. Like, with my mouth hanging open and in compelete shock.
They sucked so bad.
So, it got my a’Googling for videos of terrible cover bands, particularly as I will be joining one (potentially) very soon. You begin to wonder on some of these vids–Do these dweebs actually think thay are good?! A good cover band plays with accuracy, has their own style but is similar to the band they covering, and takes the crowd to another place by tapping into their emotions associated with that music. It’s like seeing that band when you can’t see the real thing. A terrible cover band is the exact opposite. I have compiled a collection of terrbile cover bands from YouTube in hopes of becoming more self-aware and because they are funny as hell.
Exhibit A: The video in Question–The Pink Floyd Fallouts playing “Uncomfortably Not-Numb”
There are so many things obviously wrong with this video. One is that these are adult men and not 12 year old kids playing their first gig. Two: check out the lead singer’s face at 3:30. Yes. We are all making that face, dude. Three: HOW DID YOU THINK THIS SOUNDED LIKE THE REAL THING?!
Exhibit B: Chris Farley on Drums. AKA Rich K. and the Allnighters.
Including the mic guy being a total douche, this band just seems like an embarassing group of dudes who shows up at the company picnic because the bassist knows the CEO and they cut them a deal–or it was free. Or at some kind of weird church revival. But the drummer is what makes it so especially embarassing. Whoa. At about 1:28 the drummer gets all hurricane on the kit and loses it. Seriously. He looks like Matt Foley ready to take a dive on the living room furniture. The band wouldn’t be TOO terrible (technically they play really well) if the drummer wasn’t so off the wall. And the gold blazers would have to go.
Exhibit C: The Final Countdown–goes too long!
Whoa. I’m not sure where they are from, but it apparently is magical place that does not have hearing. So terrible. I will give props to the keyboard player. He plays that iconic melody with the only true tone and accuracy of anyone in the band.
Exhibit D: Not Nirvana!!
*Palm to face* God. Wow. Now I will give them a few ‘gimmies’. They are young, and the drummer is actually pretty good. No Dave Grohl, but you gotta start somewhere. Their lead singer is also a girl, which is pretty rad except she also looks like Hot Topic barfed on her. And she’s pretty bad at accuracy. But she’s got ‘Teen Spirit’. I also like the young guitarist soloing wearing The Who shirt. Hmm, some day, son. But hey, I can’t dog too much: Nirvana sounded like this at first, too. Punk is more about emotions than skill, right? Then they are most definitely punk.
Exhibit E: Red Hot Chili Peppers…mmm, maybe not
Okay, this one isn’t terrible, in fact the musicians are awesome. The lead singer…well, I’d blame it on a language barrier. He’s good and gets the crowd going, but he jerks and moves so sporatically it is quite jaunting to look at. And no one knows what Anthony Keidis is saying, but I’m not sure it’s “Tick Tac. Pork Chop. Pork Chop. Tick Tac.” But I will throw him a bone for becoming a human wah-wah pedal.
FINALLY, I will end this with what you’ve all been waiting for:
Three shirtless teenage boys singing (kind of) Guns ‘N Roses! Stay in school, kids! Goodnight everybody!